I blog because

• No matter what I write, I have a few people that smile (perhaps smirk within) and that makes me smile.
• To redirect anger against stupidity.
• The filtration system from my mind to my finger tips has been compromised.
• Other organs except my brain voted against me. :O
• My brain is upset that someone else beat it approaching the Labour Board.:P
• Blog site doesn’t mind my using it as crapping ground. 😀
• My friends and family need a break from my talking.
• Blogging is like a funnel for my otherwise disarrayed thoughts.
• My mouth complained about me to the labour board about being overworked. 🙂

ONE THING TO THINK

Having been raised in a fairly open minded family, I grew up in a close-knit community of people that were caring, loving and understanding. However, this is a realization that I have had only on hindsight. Despite all that I had, I grew up rebelling against the littlest of things, but never really gave it a thought as to why I did so. Now that I am older and have been introspecting, I seem to have the answer. I am a “born-rebel”. I cannot accept anything imposed upon me from the outside. I need to challenge it and go against it, to realize things for myself. I remember this saying “Bright people learn from other people’s mistakes. Fools wait for their own”. I surely belong to the latter ! Having said that, I have my own restrictions that I impose upon myself, that I am willing to live with for the moment.

Boy, the pushing 40 feeling surely has a hormonal impact on the body. So I’d like to think because it’s only lately that I think about everything. Is it good ?? I am not sure because this causes such a chain reaction of thoughts. Like I have less to think about otherwise !  I asked myself this question “why do I rebel” and the answer does not seem to be because its in my “nature”. The answer seems to be “the seek”. It the internal want for knowing the unknown. When I was younger and I was told, don’t run down the stairs, I did so (needless to say only when no one was looking), just to see what happened if I did. All my life long, I have done this about various issues of my life. I wonder if this is true of many people’s lives. The point to be noted is not the rebellion itself, but the fact that I rebelled, but without the knowledge of people.

Going back to the pushing 40 feeling – I now see that I no longer want to rebel behind the screen and I am now a lot more accepting of my nature. However, do I have the courage ? Time will tell. But the fact is that I am thinking about it is a breakthrough. It’s also a realization that it’s one thing to think and another thing to come out in the open.